The song maybe somewhat corny, but it conveys what I'm trying to say.
Around this time last year you left us. It was closer to Thanksgiving when you passed (which killed most of the meaning of that day for me, but that's not your fault) but I was squeemish on typing this at all. I guess it's the least I could do since I haven't been to your grave since your burial.
I hope, if there's such a thing as an after life, that you don't think I've forgotten you. That me not visiting your remains more often means I don't care. That I try to not think about you almost on purpose because I dislike you. I try to not think about you because it still pains me your gone. Different things will remind me of you and I have to quickly knock it down or be lost in memories and regrets.
I know that everyone goes at one point, I just wish your time wasn't so soon. Every time I accomplish something, I think of you and wish you were there to see me. From little things as driving all by myself to major things like my first day of college. Hell...driving alone I still remember how you'd sit me on your lap and let me take the wheel down the neighborhood. I used to think of how awesome it would be to drive you around all over the place for a change...
Growing up, you always intimidated me. Typical of a father/son respect thing, I guess. You always seemed so serious and stern. Now, as an adult, I think back to how you were and see where I got my own goofy traits from. We truly weren't all as different as I thought we were. I wish I would've reached the age of reason sooner only to have gotten to know you as a person versus just the parental unit... Fact of the matter is, the thought of you not being there never crossed my mind. I didn't even think it was feasible. Then it felt like life took you away from me over night and in that very moment I was left to fend for myself. What I used to see as being over protective was actually the only thing holding me together. I'm so sorry for all the trouble I gave you growing up not knowing this.
Even as an adult, I'm still sorry. I'm sure I'm no where near where you would have wanted me to be at, and probably would've whooped my ass for it, but at the same time I knew I'd always be able to count on you to be the shoulder for me to lean on. I know I wouldn't be struggling anywhere near as I am now had you still been around.
Regardless, things happen and life goes on. It's hard to go on without you, but I've at least been able to make it this far, if anything, thanks to things you've taught me. I only hope that when my time comes, I could've accomplished even half of what you did in your life.
Even with mistakes that you made, and moments where I knew you were wrong, and everything else in general, I will always love you and miss you more than I lead on to. It kills me that I haven't been able to visit your grave, but I'm sure you know that you cross my mind more often than I admit to. Bare minimum, I figured I'd type everything I wish I could've said to you while you were with us. You were an amazing father and a cool friend in the end when I was finally hitting the age of reason.
I miss you dad and I hope you are getting plenty of angel-ass.
Love,
Your son,
Elvis
Around this time last year you left us. It was closer to Thanksgiving when you passed (which killed most of the meaning of that day for me, but that's not your fault) but I was squeemish on typing this at all. I guess it's the least I could do since I haven't been to your grave since your burial.
I hope, if there's such a thing as an after life, that you don't think I've forgotten you. That me not visiting your remains more often means I don't care. That I try to not think about you almost on purpose because I dislike you. I try to not think about you because it still pains me your gone. Different things will remind me of you and I have to quickly knock it down or be lost in memories and regrets.
I know that everyone goes at one point, I just wish your time wasn't so soon. Every time I accomplish something, I think of you and wish you were there to see me. From little things as driving all by myself to major things like my first day of college. Hell...driving alone I still remember how you'd sit me on your lap and let me take the wheel down the neighborhood. I used to think of how awesome it would be to drive you around all over the place for a change...
Growing up, you always intimidated me. Typical of a father/son respect thing, I guess. You always seemed so serious and stern. Now, as an adult, I think back to how you were and see where I got my own goofy traits from. We truly weren't all as different as I thought we were. I wish I would've reached the age of reason sooner only to have gotten to know you as a person versus just the parental unit... Fact of the matter is, the thought of you not being there never crossed my mind. I didn't even think it was feasible. Then it felt like life took you away from me over night and in that very moment I was left to fend for myself. What I used to see as being over protective was actually the only thing holding me together. I'm so sorry for all the trouble I gave you growing up not knowing this.
Even as an adult, I'm still sorry. I'm sure I'm no where near where you would have wanted me to be at, and probably would've whooped my ass for it, but at the same time I knew I'd always be able to count on you to be the shoulder for me to lean on. I know I wouldn't be struggling anywhere near as I am now had you still been around.
Regardless, things happen and life goes on. It's hard to go on without you, but I've at least been able to make it this far, if anything, thanks to things you've taught me. I only hope that when my time comes, I could've accomplished even half of what you did in your life.
Even with mistakes that you made, and moments where I knew you were wrong, and everything else in general, I will always love you and miss you more than I lead on to. It kills me that I haven't been able to visit your grave, but I'm sure you know that you cross my mind more often than I admit to. Bare minimum, I figured I'd type everything I wish I could've said to you while you were with us. You were an amazing father and a cool friend in the end when I was finally hitting the age of reason.
I miss you dad and I hope you are getting plenty of angel-ass.
Love,
Your son,
Elvis
