Exodus's Rambles

Crazy Septa Lady

2011-08-13T23:58:00.003-04:00

It's been a while since I blogged but dear God did this EVER deserve it's own entry.

There was a woman in the Septa Broad Street Line Train today who was, for the most part, psychotic with a side of crazy.

Imagine my surprise walking into the train to hear this woman screaming at the top of her lungs as if she was getting stabbed in the thigh with a spork. What really tipped the iceberg? The crap she was saying. Here are some delightful quotes:

"I'm here warning you all! Warning you all all over the world!"

"Don't sign nuffin! They are raping babies in the hospital! Doctors rape babies all over the world!"

"Just have your baby, grab it, and run! I'm not lieing! I'm not lie~STOP LAUGHING!"

"Don't go to bars! They poison us! They make us sick all over the world!"

"Doctors are using dirty needles! Dirty needles to kill us! I'm warning you all!"

"Babies are being filled with semen!" (I almost died at this point.)

Now. You will notice an on going theme all over the blog. Apparently, she must've thought this particular train was on the equator line and not just Broad Street. Also, any woman that can give birth, then grab her child and run deserves a metal for having a super regenerative birth canal.

Philly is a scary place sometimes.

All over the world, yo.

Dear Dad,

2010-12-06T01:13:00.002-05:00

The song maybe somewhat corny, but it conveys what I'm trying to say.

Around this time last year you left us. It was closer to Thanksgiving when you passed (which killed most of the meaning of that day for me, but that's not your fault) but I was squeemish on typing this at all. I guess it's the least I could do since I haven't been to your grave since your burial.

I hope, if there's such a thing as an after life, that you don't think I've forgotten you. That me not visiting your remains more often means I don't care. That I try to not think about you almost on purpose because I dislike you. I try to not think about you because it still pains me your gone. Different things will remind me of you and I have to quickly knock it down or be lost in memories and regrets.

I know that everyone goes at one point, I just wish your time wasn't so soon. Every time I accomplish something, I think of you and wish you were there to see me. From little things as driving all by myself to major things like my first day of college. Hell...driving alone I still remember how you'd sit me on your lap and let me take the wheel down the neighborhood. I used to think of how awesome it would be to drive you around all over the place for a change...

Growing up, you always intimidated me. Typical of a father/son respect thing, I guess. You always seemed so serious and stern. Now, as an adult, I think back to how you were and see where I got my own goofy traits from. We truly weren't all as different as I thought we were. I wish I would've reached the age of reason sooner only to have gotten to know you as a person versus just the parental unit... Fact of the matter is, the thought of you not being there never crossed my mind. I didn't even think it was feasible. Then it felt like life took you away from me over night and in that very moment I was left to fend for myself. What I used to see as being over protective was actually the only thing holding me together. I'm so sorry for all the trouble I gave you growing up not knowing this.

Even as an adult, I'm still sorry. I'm sure I'm no where near where you would have wanted me to be at, and probably would've whooped my ass for it, but at the same time I knew I'd always be able to count on you to be the shoulder for me to lean on. I know I wouldn't be struggling anywhere near as I am now had you still been around.

Regardless, things happen and life goes on. It's hard to go on without you, but I've at least been able to make it this far, if anything, thanks to things you've taught me. I only hope that when my time comes, I could've accomplished even half of what you did in your life.

Even with mistakes that you made, and moments where I knew you were wrong, and everything else in general, I will always love you and miss you more than I lead on to. It kills me that I haven't been able to visit your grave, but I'm sure you know that you cross my mind more often than I admit to. Bare minimum, I figured I'd type everything I wish I could've said to you while you were with us. You were an amazing father and a cool friend in the end when I was finally hitting the age of reason.

I miss you dad and I hope you are getting plenty of angel-ass.

Love,
Your son,
Elvis

Death

2010-08-05T12:26:00.000-04:00

I seem to be kind of bothered by this topic as of late...

This is the first time I speak of this out in the open. Only person I've told about this is Matt. Bare with me as its a lot of random thoughts strung together. Also, if you don't like this topic either I suggest you don't read the rest of this blog.

Ok, you are warned.

Lately, the whole dieing thing is becoming more than just an after thought. I think I'm going through a mid life crisis or what have you, but I figured that would happen when I turn 40, not now.

I feel a combination of a fear of death mixed with a feeling of insignificance.

Before, whenever I thought of death, I didn't really put much thought into it. My mentality was just "it happens, make the most of things until it does". As it should be, really. Lately though, the thought of actually dieing has me a bit freaked out. Nothing really triggered this (that I know of), just one day I put deep thought into it and I've been out of it since.

Death is unpredictable. You could be fine one day and dead the next. There are infinite number of variables that could get you snuffed out. Like now. I'm sitting on the patco train. It could derail before I get to send this, though most likely it won't. I could suddenly collapse from XYZ sudden health issue. Some one in the train can go on a killing spree. Hell, I could die from a slip and fall just getting off of this dumb train. Really really meaningless and purposeless thought processes have been the usual for a bit now, it seems. Just sudden paranoia, I guess.

If that's not bad enough, I also mix in insignificance with this mentality. My death would just be a statistic. A circle of people will mourn my passing until I become an after thought. Everything I held dear and worked for will be rendered unimportant and whatever I was working towards will never happen. There is literally nothing special nor unique about me to be more than a statistic, and the world would continue, as it has been, when I do go. It makes me think of the billions of people that have died before me and how their existence (or lack there of) meant nothing to me until just recently. I ended up mourning for their loss for a while, thinking that other than stupid ghost shows, few would still even care that they did exist. Its a shame I didn't pay better attention in American history class in high school. It didn't dawn on me at the time that I spat on the very people I owe everything I have now to. I did like world history, though? XD

Part of me would love to go into acting or stand up (LAWL stand up with blogs like this?). If not for the fun of it, but just because it would be the only way I feel I'd ever be remembered. As close to immortality as I can get. Hell, once I die, then the people that kept my after thought with them die, that's it. I, myself, don't know who the hell my great grand parents are nor do I even have a way of finding out. That's all it takes to just vanish.

Faith in an after life seems to be the balance to this equation, but as much as I hate to admit it, I've been casting doubt on it. Now that I think about it, this is probably what is making the whole death thing worse. Eternal darkness. No thinking. No dreaming. No feeling (physical and emotional). Just. Nothingness. There has been so many different religions through out human history that it makes me feel that their very existence was birthed to better block out the realities of death. This frightens me. I hope there is an after life.

As far as my own faith goes, for those wondering, would be best described with a book series Brittany introduced me too years ago. Its been the only spiritual reading that I've done that has made sense to me. "conversations with god" is the book. Good read.

Anyway, that's a little side tracking but somewhat relevant since everything right now has doubt casted on it.

Coming close to my stop before I go to work, so ending this here. Would love a second opinion if someone cared enough to read this. If not its fine. I feel a little better just typing this out at all.

:)
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Woo...

2010-07-17T19:23:00.000-04:00

Not so much happened for a while which kind of removed the urge to blog... Until now at least. July seems to be the month of new beginnings for me.

First off, I decided to switch jobs. I gave in my two weeks notice and said my farewells to Devereux and now work at GameStop.

So far, this has been the best choice I've made in a long time. Its going from a (while trying to kill you) job that kind of grows on you to a job that I'm a supageek with. Huge weight off of my shoulders and my stress level is at the lowest its been since before I ever arrived to NJ.

I also decided to move in with a new roommate. This was a financial move and where I will be at will be much cheaper in rent. End result? An Elvis with the time and financial backings to finally have a social life.

Going back to the new job though... I'm still getting adjusted to the fact that I live in one state and work in another. Normal for people in the area yet mind boggling for me. I have to take a PATCO train first to then catch a SEPTA subway afterwards. It amuses me since I stare out the window a lot.

That's pretty much it for me so far. Nothing special. Mostly boring but damn well big for me! So stfu.

>:C
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Car, shift changes, and phones... Oh my!

2010-03-24T07:09:00.001-04:00

Well, its been a while, but things are going my way finally. This is probably the first time in a great many Blog posts that I don't feel like an emo kid for writing it.

Granted, mentioning that thought is emo on itself. Did I just divide by zero?

Anyway, here is the jiff of things. Marcel from my job managed to bag himself a better job (congrats brah!) which freed up his shift. Now, his shift is from Friday to Monday which bites, but more money and no more night shift! Yay! I can finally sleep like a normal person again!

I also managed to reconnect myself to the world and got myself a fancier BlackBerry phone. It looks identical to my old phone, but cooler gadgets (I has GPS!) This also means I can Blog from my phone again, so yay!

Last but most certainly not least, I'm on the road again! My new car is a 1997 Monte Carlo. I find it kind of funny that it looks like an older version of my old Nissan... White with a wing on the trunk and all. Difference being this car is a two door while my old car was four. Was a mission to get it, but thanks to Steve we managed to get me going.

Oh, and I'm NOT spontaneously moving within a small smudge of time! LOL stability ftw!

While everything isn't perfect, per say, the small amount of drama going on right now is barely a blip on my radar, with the exception of my mom resurfacing thanks to one of my sister's absent minded friends. This Blog post is too awesome to get into details about that crap, though. I'll touch base on it later.

I will end this post with the following awesome word:

HUGGBEES
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Readers Digest

2009-12-09T22:15:00.002-05:00

I'm le tired.

I promised some kind of an update. I don't want to some like I'm not a man of my word, so I'll just give a bulleted list of the important notes of the last couple of months:

I still like cheese.
Wish I was doing better with college. Can't afford books, which makes it rough/impossible to keep up. Before anyone replies with links to cheap book stores, I'm living paycheck to paycheck.
On that. End of the month I get paid and have to pay bills = broke. Begining of the month, I probably overdrafted and still pay rent = broke.
On a good note, one way or another I should get some kind of a monetary boost. Job is doing good, despite the current pay being ass.
My Blackberry has been defeated by Toilet. R.I.P. I need a new phone. =\
I love cheese.
My hair has gotten long as hell.
I've also gotten quite skinny. Haven't stepped on a scale to see the damages.
On that, Mike should be getting his car soon. Totally going to hit the gym with him.
One day, I will be hot, but not at the rate this NJ weather is going.
My air matress has a hole in it. I came to realize this waking up in the middle of the night and realizing the poofy air feeling has been replaced with floor flat feeling.
Thanksgiving at Patty's was actually quite nice. Small group (Patty, Chris, and Jo)...wouldn't have had it any other way.
I still miss everyone in Florida. Dearly.
SCH75GET
I might be depressed/misrable, but at least I still manage to deliver my charming personality and a warm smile. YAY!

There! Now you are updatified. I hope this was as good for you as it was for me. =) Now...if only I can manage to get some sleep...

Teaser Post?

2009-11-26T13:53:00.003-05:00

I haven't posted in a while. This is due to me having a very repetitive and boring life. That, and I've been waiting to have something positive to post about.

Yep.

Today is a day to give "thanks", even though it's implied by most religious agencies that thanks should be given daily. Unless, of course, it's actually meant for Native Americans to give thanks the white devils didn't extinct them as a species. Whatever floats your boat! Either way, hope you all enjoy your turkey genocide!

Holy hell...I think I just made myself sound like a vegan.

Just in case, I do enjoy me some good turkey! It's one pro of this holiday. Hope you all don't eat yourselves into a coma. If you do...could I have your stuff?

I'll bounce back and give a better update to what's going on with me. As far as today goes, I thought I was going to do a double shift today at work. Turns out it's only night shift. Going to eat unnatural amounts of holiday food (yes, this means meat) at Patty's today. At least, until it starts getting close to 11PM...then it's off to Bayberry with me! Yay!

Oh, my phone is officially dead, btw. For those of you who read this blog but don't follow me on Facebook, I very intelligently dropped my phone into the toilet. It seemed to work for a few days, till I woke up on thanksgiving and saw my screen blacken and die right before mine eyes. Toilet: 1, Blackberry: 0

I need to schedule some vacation time before I end up looking like I'm 50 years old by next Tuesday, though, depending on who you ask, I already look like a 40 year old creepy uncle of some sort.

First Class: O

2009-08-06T21:28:00.003-04:00

Finished my first class, but I'm pissed. I thought the last day of class would be this Sunday. I didn't realize the last day of class was Tuesday. I missed points on my final for not interacting with the other students.

Beyond the final, though...

...I think I made out ok. =)

Now for English Composition I and Introduction to Information Technology! I know I owe everyone a good catch up blog post. I'll get around to it!

Exo: 1 English: 0

2009-06-16T02:34:00.004-04:00

Well! It has been quite the journey thus far! I know I've attention whored the news all over the place, but I just can't get enough of this. :D

For the last few days or so I've been once again talking to Janice from South University helplessly trying to get it all setup. The final step was Ashley taking me to the local library so I can take the College Placement Exam.

To say I was confident would be a lie. A really fat lie. I was afraid I'd take the test and at the end the system will say "YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK, GOODBYE" then explode into confetti.

We get to the library and I begin to take the first part, which was Arithmetic. 10 minutes in, the library computer times out since library computers are built on the premise of failnet. Fortunately, though, they have wifi access. Ash drove me back to her place to get her laptop. This, of course, had to have the extra stress that I had left my cell phone at the library.

Yeah. LOL

I called the library, they found the phone and held it for me. Crises averted.

We eat and head back to the library. Ash drops me off this time since she had her own thing to do. I began the test and hoped for the best.

I know my math was weaksauce and at the time I thought I did ok with English. After finishing, I called Janice to tell her my scores. Luckily, my math was good enough to be a passing grade but she actually stuttered when I told her that I got 100 in Reading Comprehension and 116 in Sentence Structure.

She told me I amazingly well with English...well enough to be able to just test out of the first course in it! Where are your beaner jokes now, gringos!

Oh. Right here:

Fuck you, Chad. <33

She then promptly said "Congrats! You're a college student now!"

If it wasn't for the fact that I was in a library, I would've exploded like a school girl and Janice would've thought I was clinically insane. I posted in MySpace, Facebook, Out of Topic in zam.com, and now posting in blogspot which will also post on Facebook.

Yeah. I IZ HAPPIES

Steve got home and of course I told him the news also. We all decided to go to AC (and by decided, I do mean spontaneous 'oh, btw, let's go to AC'). It wasn't to actually celebrate that I got accepted; we would've gone regardless of the fact. In my needy little mind, though, it was a celebration!

Best part? Steve was showing me this Monopoly slot machine game and put in money so I can play. I won enough money to not only reimburse him the game he paid for me, but his OWN game that he played to show me and still walked away with an extra $43 for myself.

June 15, 2009, I heart thee.

Finally settled...

2009-05-28T17:48:00.002-04:00

Well, my arrival to Jersey wasn't without some shit hitting the fan. I'm not going to get into too much detail (don't bother asking) other than Ashley is back with Steve and working towards a brighter future. I'm truly happy for them and wish them the best. As for me? I'm back on the open dating market!

I'm not going to lie and say that the events that went down didn't leave it's scars, but I'll bounce back and be alright. Ashley, Steve, and I will all still be friends so it's not like I'm utterly alone up here (hopefully).

As for the job-o, I should start training on June 8th. I can't wait! Already met the big-cheese himself, and he seems like a laid back kind of guy. I'll be taking care of patients in what sounds like a mental institution, so at least I'd have something in common with the patients. I'll be sure to share whatever bizarre story I get out of it!

Other than that, I got to go to Atlantic City the day before yesterday, which was like Casino central. Really pretty with flashy lights all over the place. They also have Roman/Greek statues and assortment of Western thingies. Yeah. Weird mix but I like seeing crazy things so I'm happy! I also got to hang out with Ashley's whole family on Memorial Day, which was great, too!

Let's see if I can finally get back on my feet and not go out of my mind any more than I already have.

Moving Again

2009-05-18T00:35:00.002-04:00

I'll just go ahead and quote what I posted on the Asylum:

"Yes. Again.

Figured I'd post here. More OoTers sneak in here than Asylumites sneak into the OoT. Who da thunk?

Anyway, up until now, I've been living in Charlotte, NC desperately looking for a job to no avail. I should've kept looking into going to college like Nexa recommended (which is still a fantastical idea) but even getting my taxes for financial aide proved to be a real bitch.

Add stress to that from being jobless for about 3 months and it becomes easy to be side tracked.

Just this thursday, though, my GF's mom apparently was able to get quite the connect. Not only do I have a job lined up but instead of living with my best friend's bro, I may even have a studio apartment lined up. Catch 22 is that it's in South Jersey.

At least I'll be 10 minutes away from said GF, so that's all dandy.

Sorry DSD/Tare/Cami/RJ that I couldn't visit and have a drink with y'all. Wanted to get out of bum status but that never happened.

I'll be leaving by this coming Saturday, just in time for Terminator. Here's hoping (again) that things go my way in yet another new spot. Been going on quite the bad luck run. At least it's already looking brighter. I'll be able to do college from home till I can get my hands on a set of wheels again and make something out of my sad little life.

Till then...

"

Yeah, that pretty much sums shit up for me. To add further detail, the job is with me taking care of disabled people and making sure they take their meds and eat. Not tough since I used to help my mom with old people from time to time with the same exact thing.

Matt, on the other hand, is going to try Florida again. It'll be nice for him to be with all his friends again and he even has a job or two lined up. Going to miss the asshole dearly, though. At any rate, the plan is to eventually rendezvous with Alex in GA. Hopefully by the time we've saved the cash for that, Ashley should be done with school and this recession won't be as much of a bitch as it is now.

If you are in NC and looking for work; good luck. I had none.

Here's hoping this new chapter doesn't suck like the last dozen!

lulz

2009-02-23T22:50:00.002-05:00

Well, Matt and I decided to make a video blog on YouTube. It's about us being bored and talking about random shit. Like. Really random.

Check it out! The idea was to keep our friends back in Miami up to date while making total retards of ourselves for the lulz. So far, I'm amused. :D

Leaving FL

2009-02-19T15:43:00.002-05:00

Well it seems like this thing works now, so let me post what I tried to send when I was waiting at the bus stop in Miami:

"I sit here at the bus stop. I feel sick and dizzy. I am amazed at the fact that by 4:20 PM tomorrow I will be in Charlotte for longer that a weekend. I'm going to live there.

I have major levels of anxiety and barely know what to do with myself. Its the first time in my life that I've ever left Florida, my home, with no intention of coming back for a long time. Holy shit. What a rush!

Who knows how its going to be in north Carolina but I hope its good! Bus ride is going to be 19 boring hours.

If only I could play FFXI on my PSP! "

-Edited again. My phone fails. No more phone blog posting for me!-

Charlotte

2009-02-19T15:29:00.002-05:00

Ok so this entry is mostly to see if my phone works. If it does then cool!

I am in Charlotte now, sitting in a lobby after a job interview. I will get into details later if this works. :D

-Edited to fix the shitty mess my cell made.

Dreams

2008-12-14T12:07:00.003-05:00

Another belated blog post. Hope all my lovely readers are doing great (yes, all 1 of you!).

So, I've been thinking about stuff lately. Of course, if you know me you'd know my mind is always racing, but lately it's been heavier than usual. I remember Max mentioning that he took therapy at one point and I'm thinking that maybe I should, too. I'd like to be able to get a third opinion on things without what I have to say causing some kind of recoil.

I'm quite the day dreamer. I day dream to escape reality, this I know, but all it really does is make me hate life. I end up daydreaming myself into paradise then waking up to the real world, where 8 times out of 10 nothing goes how I want it to go. I end up feeling lonely and empty and longing for whatever the hell I was dreaming about at the time.

For this reason, I try to keep my daydreams fiction. Flying, laser beam eyes, whatever the hell it takes. Waking up from my daydream isn't so bad if it's impossible, I figure. That, and well, I like action flicks and what better movie could I watch than one that I make up as I go along? haha

What sucks is that sometimes I mix in desires with my hero flicks. So, it's original purpose goes up in smoke in the end regardless and I still wake up longing for whatever portion was real in that daydream... As the days go by, I keep falling more and more into daydreaming and at some points, I can't even stop it. I just space out.

Only to wake up longing for things and people I may never have.

I think therapy would help me realize the finer points in my life that I might not even realize is there. Maybe make me a better person, not to everyone else (I have you motherfuckers spoiled), but to me.

I'm the biggest asshole in the world to myself. There is very few, if any, people that gets worse treatment from me than how I treat myself. I know this connects with the daydreaming, my past, and Lord knows what else, so this third opinion thing might be the best thing for me.

Either that or pray that some weird paranormal phenomena happens and the "Elvis" from my day dreams switches places with the shitty "Elvis" everyone knows. Obviously, that'll never happen but hey...just another day dream scenario for me.

It's dumb things that make me happy, too, that's the fucked up part. I don't ask for much out of life. I don't ask for riches or fame. I don't ask to be surrounded by the hot naked people that all want to do me. I don't ask for power. No need for big material things. None of that.

I just want what I give people to be reciprocated. Even my rent comes second to this. I often daydream about people in my past or people in my current lifestyle just doing things out of their own norm; doing things that make ME happy, for once. I want every happy warm emotion that was taken away from me as a kid. I want that 'family unity' feeling other people brag about.

Why me? Why the hell did I have to be so fucking different?

Everyone around me don't follow the 'rules' and 'morals' that I seemed to have set for myself, yet I feel wrong for not following them. I would think that affection I show people would naturally be reciprocated, but every single person I've gotten close to in the entirety of my life have shown me that greed isn't just related to money. Some people have come around, granted, but why should they have to 'come around' in the first place? Why does this mentality feel natural to me and JUST me?

Why can't I be a selfish dick like everyone else is? It seems foreign to me, even though it's pretty much as prominent as the air we breathe.

*sigh* I need more alcohol.

Oh God, he's being poetic. Someone buy this guy a hobby!

2008-09-16T00:00:00.004-04:00

I can only watch the world spin from a distant far enough to taste the life that flows through it but never have enough to be consumed by it.

I'm but a number, neither positive nor negative, sitting amongst that which can create and destroy yet never take a side.

I crave that which should not be craved. Desire that which should not be desired. I know the fruit is forbidden but I would have desired to eat it a thousand times if it meant I could taste it once before my own destruction.

I smile because it's how I look into a mirror and see someone else's existance reflected that is not mine.

The ache I go through ripples through out my days but I never let a wave form. I can't let a wave form.

I wonder where the day after will be yet fear tomorrow; all the while trying to forget yesterday.

I want to give up but still move onward.

When will my eyes gaze upon my dreams?

So yeah...

2008-09-03T20:52:00.002-04:00

I haven't updated this in a bit...but don't feel like blogging either...it's just that I keep looking at how outdated this thing is and know I should post some kind of update....I guess.

Long story short:

I got my Apt. It's teh awesome
I've resigned from Allakhazam.com
I still do 'The Mog House' with Pikko on Sundays at 8est (www.onlinegamingradio.com)
Job at SSC is still ok.
I'm not dead yet.

That's probably the important parts. I'm having a shitty day so I really don't feel like typing much...I'm surprised I even typed up this much.

I'm tired. Just so damn tired. I feel 90 at 24. I barely feel like waking up in the morning but do so cause I know I'm supposed to.

Meh. Blog is starting to get emo, which is why I was skeptical to write in the first place. Oh well.

Almost there...

2008-07-05T10:49:00.002-04:00

Figured I’d take this quick moment to blog on what’s happening so far.

Work is doing good. Getting the hang of things and working my way up day after day. I have to say that I like the environment and, with the exception of a couple of people, I can say that there isn’t much of anyone worth mentioning that gets on my nerves (which is great when you consider there are 300+ employees there).

Now the living situation is a whole other ball game.

Like you all should know (course, I refer to the two and a half people that actually read this thing), I was living with my mother. Notice how I say was. This last Thursday, I get home to my mother and sister having a 24 hour eviction notice. The received this notice at what…12:55PM? Normally, my mom was the one picking me up and taking me to work. You’d think she’d tell me sooner via voice mail, text message, etc. that our asses are homeless sooner so I can have something planned out by the time I get home, right?

Nope.

I was sent a text message that we were getting evicted maybe 30 minutes before I leave work at 8PM. Mind you, I can’t even check my phone while I’m working. Best part is that you could tell that the only reason why I was told then was as an excuse to not pick me up…

All I could think of at the time was “Are you serious?”

Something like an eviction thrown out to me to be used as an excuse to not pick me up from work. Had I had my own ride, I wouldn’t have been told till I got home and ask “Where did all the furniture go?”

There’s no point in even bringing it up to them. My family is a class of people who are ‘always right’. That same night I got home I had to pack my mom’s Jeep (which is now mine) with all my possessions. Was done at maybe 2:30? 3? AM. My sister wanted to borrow the jeep to go to a friends house with it having little to no gas and all my stuff in it.

Umm, hi. WTF?

Her validation? “My buddy will give me gas money and nothing is going to happen to your stuff.”

Do I get a money back guarantee with that confidence of yours? Oh, that’s right. I don’t. She couldn’t just accept defeat from being told no. When my mom actually took my side, she plainly said “Just take your damn son’s side.” Cause, she’s right. Always. Totally OK to drive around with my stuff. At 3AM. To see some guy.

FFS, I have to be adopted.

On the flip side, I’m pretty close to getting an apartment with Matt in the same building Frank lives in. Two bed rooms, too, so save the typical ‘Elvis and Matt are gay’ jokes for someone as unoriginal as you. Would have gotten the money orders for the down payment today, but now I have to rush on Monday cause, of course, even something simple as money orders has to get complicated. -_-

At least by Monday, I should actually have my own place. Then my family will say how much of an asshole I am cause I’ve abandoned them after all they done for me. At least it’s amongst themselves and the only person who will say something fucked up will be my sister. She is the same one who told me “It’s your fault mom had a heart murmur cause you never call.”

9_9 I’m changing my identity the first chance I get.

I'm just lucky that Frank and Lily were able to let Matt and I stay for a couple of days at their place while we work on getting our apartment. Had it not been for them I think I would've completely lost my mind. x_X

<33333 you two!

EXO SMASH

2008-06-22T15:43:00.002-04:00

Welp, I ended up drinking some Starbucks yesterday after all. :D

Just sucked that they forgot to add the whip cream to my White Chocolate Mocca. >( Fuckers. Also got to see The Hulk yesterday. Good movie. It's no Iron Man but still a good movie. Not gunna spoil it, though! ;) Ended up seeing the 12:50 AM showing. Late as hell but it's not like I have many options to me anymore.

So far, today seems a bit.....umm...something.

Maybe I'll have something good to blog about at some point. Lawl.

Blah

2008-06-21T23:18:00.002-04:00

I feel particularly emo today. Not myspace emo, but more like...well...just not happy. I don't feel like I've been able to be happy for a bit now.

Even when I wake up in a dandy mood, it seems like I'm not meant to stay that way. Well, damn. Now it is starting to sound kinda myspace emo, but I actually have reasons that are greater than mommy not giving me lunch money this morning.

I think I'm just pretty tired of being me. There hasn't been much less fail for almost as far back as I could remember. People I associate with, things I want to do, things I want to become...all of it seems hopeless or unachievable. There seems to be no real pro at being 'me'.

If I had the chance to jump to someone else's body I wouldn't really think twice. There just isn't much consoling me now a days and I'm pretty ready to just cash out and try this 'life' thing again later.

No, I'm not going to kill myself or talk about killing myself or do some form of bodily harm. Not only am I allergic to pain but as much as I hate being me I don't have a desire to not live, either. Funny, huh?

I mean funny as in "that guy is weird" versus "funny ha-ha" funny.

Every day I seem to get a new reason to why I seem to be born to fail.

meh, fuck it. I want some Starbucks. :D

??? - Feb 12, 2008

2008-02-12T20:47:00.000-05:00

E-Peen
Rest in Peace
:(

My Mom

2008-02-11T17:11:00.000-05:00

Today I had a nice reminder of why is it that I've always hated my mom. She helps me out from time to time but in the end if I could've had some sort of say so on who I'd have as a mom it would definitely not be her.

My mom decided it was a cool idea to put my ferret cage outside. It's usually ok when the weather doesn't look like it's going to rain. It's fine. It begins to pour, I race down and drag the cage back into the house. Mistakes happen, nobody is perfect. Yeah I was soaked, but at least the ferrets stayed in their little home thingy so they stayed dry (until they found a small puddle of water on one of the floors of their cage...then it was play time. haha)

You'd think that if you make a booboo once you learn from your mistakes, right? Not this woman. Next day the weather was still shitty and she puts them outside again. Again I had to race downstairs to get them once it began to pour. That time though, rain was coming down REALLY hard. Both ferrets were soaked and scared shitless and I looked like I decided to jump into a pool with all my clothes on.

Today I go to clean the cage and lo and behold, E-Peen (the darker ferret) barely moves. He limps whereever he walks, shivers constantly, and won't eat. So, I tell my mom this and you know what her reply is?

"He was like that before the rain!"

...wtf? Are you 4? I know for some of you reading this you are thinking "it's not that serious", but when it's tacked ontop of the history we already have, it just boils me. Not just that, I can't stand anyone that will blatantly not take responsibility for their actions. You fucked up. Twice. It happens. Don't sit there and act like you didn't do anything wrong.

Didn't even bother trying to argue with her. I know how it usually goes. It's a waste of my time to even think of trying. I'm just frustrated as hell at the moment and upset cause the little voice inside of my head is telling me E-Peen might not make it. I can't even afford to take myself to a doc at the moment, let alone take the little guy to a vet.

*sigh*

Le Sigh

2008-01-15T14:26:00.001-05:00

Ever woken up and just didn't want to be "you" that day?

I'm in one of those "tired of being me" moods where if I could just switch bodies with someone else I probably would.

So far, it feels like this is going to be as good of a year as last year. Joy.

Its only January, too! -_-

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Asuran Fists!

2008-01-08T13:27:00.000-05:00

Monk finally hit 71 and yesterday I got my Knuckles of Trial. I forgot how much I hate breaking the latent on any weapon and yesterday was no exception.

At first it was Baratheon and Kazette in the Boyhada Tree. Then it was just Kaz and I in Kuftal. I lost count on how long this took but it took forever. Lucky me, I had Kaz making me just break that latent. I would've probably still needed another 150 points otherwise.

Nonetheless! Even got to beat the WSNM yesterday with the help of Kaz, Enshiro, Mavix, and Gremlin.

Yay!
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New Year

2008-01-01T16:19:00.001-05:00

The shit that was 2007 is finally over. Maybe this year good luck will come my way versus the usual which is watching everyone else prosper while I lag behind.

One thing is for sure: my ass is going to be skinny by the end of 2008. If I play my cards right maybe I'll even be toned up but I'd rather set goals I know I can reach to avoid disappointment.

Let's see what happens with this new set of 12 months.
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Back at Miami

2007-12-30T17:36:00.001-05:00

Yeah. Short trip.

Right now I sit in Matt's car on my way home. The trip to NC wasn't exactly what I had in mind. We didn't go for new year's, instead we went to spread Matt's dad's ashes into the lake.

It's nowhere near as bad as it sounds. The trip to the lake with Matt's family lasted all of 30 minutes tops and had a nice dramatic monologue from Matt's mom to nobody's surprise. Lol

This was followed by pizza and Guitar Hero III at Matt's brother's house.

That was Saturday. Sunday was pretty much a lunch at chilis and a flight. We should've flown in on Friday but Matt and I missed our flight. Like I texted Jahziel: well ooops. Ended up flying in on saterday morning.

Oh! My luggage was found and delivered to my hotel! Yay!

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Joy

2007-12-29T10:59:00.001-05:00

I'm in north Carolina now. Airport lost my bag.

Rage.

I liked how I was told that I could call a 1800 number if I don't hear from them in 5 days.

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Le Sigh

2007-12-28T00:51:00.001-05:00

I'm not sure how is it that in 23 years of living, I always get stuck in the same exact cycle when it comes to people. Sure, some things are different, but the core ends the same way.

Why is it that nobody thinks that maybe something they say or do may have a negative affect on someone else? Yet, they expect you to do this. It's cool for them to call you an asshole, but lord forbid you return the favor.

I'm gunna get wasted this new years. :D

On a FFXI-ish note, I'm ridiculously addicted to Campaign Battles. It's pretty much like Besieged, only not as laggy and with a greater XP return. Made of pure win, really.

Merry late Christmas!

2007-12-27T15:25:00.000-05:00

....and all that jazz. :)

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Blah

2007-12-09T15:47:00.001-05:00

Another droopy Sunday. Sitting at my mom's place waiting on her to finish cleaning so that I could get some stuff out of my old room for the new place.

She has two small dogs of which she cleans after...sometimes. Eww.

After that I'm probably (hopefully) going to hit up a Dynamis run today. That should be amusing.

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:D

2007-12-07T11:24:00.000-05:00

Well, follow-up on the Turkey Dinner with the co-workers; wasn't so bad when I actually got there. I think I was just cranky since I was sleepy as hell. After I posted that other blog, I blinked and we were almost at the other office. Sure enough, the ride back felt awfully familiar.

Speaking of the office, I gave my two weeks notice this passed Monday. I was thinking for a bit if I should do this or not. After my trip to the Fan Festival then returning back to what felt like a worse hell than before I went on vacation, and the realization that Tax Season (Satan's 3-month holiday) was right around the corner, it made my decision all to easy.

For now, job wise, I'm going to focus on Allakhazam. It's about the only place I ever worked that I'm incredibly content with. Other than that, I'll activity seek out a new job next year (ain't like this year has much left on it.)

Just need to get all of my personal shit off of this computer! x_x

On a more FFXI related note:
#@#@$@#$@

The journey to unlocking Scholar is a long one.

Monday? I get home and the net is down.

Tuesday? The net is STILL down. Spent 30 minutes trying to get Technical Support on the line (they kept hanging up) then another hour on hold. By midnight, I had net and also had to go to bed.

Wednesday? The Mog House, so no FF for me (dispite a certain Taru-taru throwing parties and binge drinking in her mog house while on air.)

Thursday? I think it's finally it. I get home, log in, change jobs and head for the Cavernous Maw. Get there and wham. System Maintenance.

I shut down the game and decided to nuke some pissed off hotdogs. You always know a hotdog is pissed off when it shrieks inside of the microwave.

Le sigh.

Joy

2007-11-20T14:27:00.000-05:00

So my office is doing this dumb thanksgiving thing in the other office that I would've been happier skipping. I'm only really going to avoid annoyances if for just a little bit longer.

You would think I'd be a lot more chipper after coming back from Fan Fest, but I digess.

I'll probably make a better post when I get more motivation. There is much I want to talk about and I'll definitly get to that.

For now, I'm going to continue sitting in the backseat of a coworkers car and at least happy I'm saving gas on going to hell-if-I-know-where.
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I fail

2007-11-19T12:54:00.000-05:00

Yeah. I tried to blog from my phone and failed so I didn't bother blogging during the trip.

Here is what I tried to blog:

I've arrived at California for the SE fan festival! Right this moment, I sit in a shuttle van with a spooky driver heading towards my hotel.

Yay for cell phone blogging!

Ack for the psycho driver almost getting me killed! Again!

Not 100% sure how my day is going to go, but I do know that I have to go register at the festival, meet up with the rest of the crew, and setup both the Allakhazam booth and OGR. Stay tuned to www.onlinegamingradio.com to hear me and the rest of the wombat crew have a blast at the festival!

If you are actually there and somehow reading this, drop by!
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First!

2007-11-08T18:06:00.000-05:00

So I finally decided to make a blog on this site. So far, I can see why it's used by alot of peeps; very cool site! I like it and will definitely keep it nice a tidy (specially since I can just e-mail post my blogs! :O)

I'll start out by mentioning that yesterday was the debut of "The Mog House", a radio show hosted by Online Gaming Radio that talks about FFXI. Hosts of the show was Pikko, Imperial Ninja, and myself and ran for 3 hours.

Needless to say, the three of us were incredibly nervous! We just sat counting down to the time the show started (which was yesterday at 9EST) and prayed that we'd make it out alive. I think the peek we hit was about 130-140 listeners and the IRC channel had 62 people just typing away.

Umm. Wow. XD

Right now, Pikko is editing the podcast to make it downloadable. I can't direct link just yet but I probably will for my next blog post. You GOTTA hear it. It had alot of funny moments where I was truly laughing my ass off. It had it's offtopic moments and annoyingly we suffered some technical difficulties, but hey...the next one will be more fine tuned and even better! ;P

To download the podcast, just go to the OGR link I posted above. :)

That aside, next week I'll be attending the FFXI Fan Festival up in California. Allakhazam.com will have a booth setup which will sit Pikko, IN, two Allakhazam team members, and myself. We'll be hosting the radio show live at the booth, taking pictures, letting people make Allakhazam accounts, the works. I'm excited beyond imagination!!

I'll keep you all updated. =)